Naughty Foodie

To balance my post from yesterday, I thought I should confess my gastronomic shortcomings.

Confession: I have a sweet tooth that cannot be satiated.

I love white chocolate, which isn't even technically chocolate.

My favorite dessert is frosting. The sweeter and thicker, the better. If I have a slice of cake sitting in front of me, and it doesn't have enough frosting, even though it looks fabulous, even though everyone says it is delicious, I won't eat it. Unless I'm really drunk and/or hungry.

In fact, I would rather not eat the cake part at all.

In fact, at a wedding 2 years ago, I scooped all the leftover frosting off the platter where the cake had already been cut and served and ate it with a spoon. It was a big, huge, disgustingly sweet, white pile of fluffy frosting. It was also an informal reception, so I could get away with it. I was also kinda drunk. But it was really really good.

Confession: I love white flour. There is just nothing like a plain old, freshly baked French baguette (preferably eaten in France). No sourdough, no whole wheat. Just regular, please. I could eat an entire loaf by myself. And don't get me started on doughy and slightly sweet Philadelphia soft pretzels. Heaven!

Confession: I love salty foods. I love street pretzels coated in salt. And the super salty dregs of Trader Joe's Spicy Tortilla Chips.

Confession: I love cold soy foods eaten while standing in front of the open fridge door. Soy dogs ripped from their package and dipped in BBQ sauce (that's still in the jar). Leftover caramelized tofu straight from the Gladware container. A couple pieces of Tofurky pilfered from the Ziploc bag in which the whole package is being stored. Yum.

Now that all my culinary picadilloes are out in the open, I feel much better.